For Safira

Bailarina's blog is written today in memoriam for her big sister Safira

So many people, some across the world, sent her their thoughts, healing and Reiki over the last few days and I know without a doubt that they helped my beautiful girl on her way this morning

It had been raining all morning ....weather to match my misery, until just before 10am when unbelievably the sun came out for the only time all day and stayed shining until we left her.

Safi was Safi till the very end - I'd groomed her and plaited her mane up and as soon as I'd done and stood back to tell her how beautiful she looked she promptly flopped on one side and had a roll. Even Andre laughed when he got here to see one side of her gleaming and the other plastered in mud.

I wanted to let her go before the van came to collect her body as I knew that seeing a horse box would stress her (and me) so after Andre had come and said hello again to Safi and explained everything to us about what he would do we took her over into the front paddock where Andre sedated her. Safi didn't bat an eye, she'd had so many injections from her Uncle Andre that she knew he wouldn't hurt her.

She had a few more nibbles of grass then as she got wobbly she lifted her head and rested her nose on my chest as I held her whilst he administered the last two syringes. I had time to stroke and kiss her face, tell her how loved she was and then say my last goodbye as she sighed a couple of times... then Safi went so peacefully and calmly.. she just dropped to the grass with another sigh and lay still.

Gi and I just sat with her for a while until Andre came back over and checked her heart and confirmed she'd gone - finally pain free after so long. We hugged her, gave her all our love and left her poor broken body - her spirit won't ever leave us

I know I made the right choices about the who, how and where and she couldn't have have a more peaceful send off. It hurts like hell and I need time to grieve her loss - I'm staring out of the window through my tears and no matter how hard I look she isn't there anymore, but there isn't one single part of me that regrets what I've done or how it went.

After she'd been through so much in the last 14 months I desperately prayed that her end would be a good one - and it was, seems funny to say it, but it was. To share her life to her last moments was an honour and a privilege I will be forever thankful for

God speed you on your way my darling Safi xxxx